The gossip media tsunami over the Hulk Hogan sex tape shows little sign of abating this weekend and still remains one of the hottest topics online. Since the tape was confirmed to exist less than 48 hours ago it has ‘gone viral’ across the Internet and may have pushed ‘The Hulkster’s’ ex wife Linda into a drinking binge resulting in a DUI arrest.
Now another party to the fiasco has weighed in through an intermediary–that would be the ex-wife of Hogan’s buddy/shock radio DJ Bubba the Love Sponge, one Heather Clem. The New York Daily News and other sources are reporting the reaction of Ms. Clem via a ‘source close to her’ who is supposedly a good friend. Celebrities are a funny lot–Clem nor her ‘spokesperson’ would confirm that it was her in the video but every other comment makes clear that it was. And while Clem is reportedly ‘completely devastated’ that the footage has gone viral at the same time it appears that she wanted her comments dispatched to the media thus fanning the flames of the video’s infamy.
Clem’s comments won’t exactly be an ego boost to former WWE/WCW champion Hogan and are in marked contrast to her post coital assurances that he’s still ‘a hot property’. Clem’s biggest issue with the release of the video seems to be the fact that she’s been ‘outed’ as actually having sex with Hulk Hogan based on this quote from her intermediary:
“Heather didn’t want her friends and family knowing that she had sex with Hulk Hogan – he’s very corny.”
Hogan may not be Justin Timberlake but ‘corny’? Ouch! Ms. Clem’s ersatz spokesperson continues describing her embarrassment over the video, again based more on her choice of ‘The Hulkster’ as a sex partner than anything else:
“She thinks it puts her in a bad light – it’s not as if Hulk’s a hunk and it’s a pretty embarrassing moment.”
Considering that Clem willingly married the decidedly non-hunkish Bubba the Love Sponge this is a serious slap in the face to Hulkamania. It’s strange to be in the position of actually *defending* Hulk Hogan but it’s not like Clem is a Scarlett Johannson level piece of cake herself. Granted, she’s a well preserved broad for her age but the leap from a portly shock radio jock to a former pro wrestling champion is no worse than a ‘lateral move’ and likely a case of ‘upward mobility’.
Perhaps the worst bit of commentary attributed to Clem is her critique of Hulk’s ‘performance’. While ‘The Hulkster’ may not be Peter North in the bedroom Clem comes off like an overly bitter Internet wrestling fanboy ripping in to one of Hogan’s worst matches (like his 1998 rematch with ‘The Warrior’ at WCW’s Halloween Havoc):
“What’s worse is Hulk’s interruptions – stopping Heather when she’s performing a sex act to check his cell phone and then admitting he felt like a pig because he ate too much right before after they finished up … the video makes her look like a piece [sic] of meat.”
The video is definitely not a high point in cinematic erotica but like any good pro wrestling match both participants need to be ‘working’. If ‘The Hulkster’ doesn’t have his head in the game Clem is at least partially at fault. Besides, she neglects to mention the skeeviest elements of the video–the Brooke Hogan ring tone on Hogan’s phone and the creepy dude (rumored to be Bubba the Love Sponge himself) who watches the couple engage in some foreplay before dismissing himself with the exit line “You guys do your thing. I’ll be in the office if you need me”. There’s plenty of awfulness to go around in the video and not all of it can be blamed on the former leader of the NWO.